The adventures from our Honeymoon!

Grab a drink and sit back as we unfold all of our misfortunes on our honeymoon. It’s a very long story and there’s some funny stuff in here. Go easy on that drink So now, the rest of the story. We left home around 7pm on Sunday night to drive to Garden as we were to fly out at 5:45. Had to be at the airport at 4am as Garden has now upgraded their airport and now follow other airport rules. Keep in mind that I am my mother’s daughter and I do NOT stay in ratty motels. Ty on the other hand doesn’t care where he stays. We stayed at the National 9 Inn (the name says it all) which would not be up to my mother’s standards, so you get my point. I thought that I would be accommodating and said I was ok with that. When we got in the room, he gets an update on our flight that it had been pushed back. After several updates, we found that we could sleep in until 6am. We get up in the morning and while Ty is doing his “morning” routine, the toilet starts leaking water from the bottom and starts flooding the floor. He closes the door and puts towels down to keep the water in the bathroom. He calls the front desk to get a different room so that I can go pee lol. We go get breakfast at McD’s and head to the airport. Garden had a thick haze of nastiness in the air and plugged me up. I took the extra napkins from our bag and put them in my bra so I would have something to blow my nose in. We get to the airport parking lot. We are getting our luggage out of the car and Ty just stops and looks at me. He then says “I need your boob napkins” and I’m confused and a little irritated because I don’t want to give up my boob napkins! He holds his hand out and shakes it at me. I reluctantly hand over my boob napkins. He walks very slowly back up to the driver’s door. I’m still getting stuff out of the trunk. Finally I just said, what are you doing?!?! He replies with, “I shouldn’t have trusted that fart!!! I just shit my pants” I’m in shock, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry I ask him if he needs my help and he yells NO!!! He’s trying to get cleaned up in the middle of the parking lot. Thinking back, I should call for the video footage I tell him let’s get inside and for him to take his suitcase in the bathroom so he can clean up better in there. After what felt like forever, he finally comes out just smiling. Fast forward to getting on the plane. We finally leave Garden at 10:45, 5 hours late! We get to DFW airport and he looks at me and says “I need off this plane” and so I step back and let him get out first. He takes off hightailing to the bathroom. I just wait. He comes out and informs me he just threw up in the bathroom. WHAT?!?! He has no color in his face and he’s freezing. We sit down at our next gate and I can tell he is miserable. We sit there and he tries to sleep as we have a 5 hour layover. I’m looking at the little shops in there and I notice that there’s a place you can rent a room to work or sleep. I told him he needs to do that. So we go check it out and he gets a room for 2 hours so hopefully he will feel better. Fast forward, he comes out and looks a little better but still feeling like crap. It’s time to board our next flight. We get in line and then he tells me, go ahead and get on, I have to go to the bathroom again. I don’t think so dude! I’m not going to be stranded in Houston while you’re still in Dallas. You all know when they close the door, they don’t open it back up! So I just wait for him. He comes back before they even call our boarding number. Fast forward to Houston. Another bathroom break and we get our rental car. It was at this point we realized that our Vrbo house wasn’t 30 mins away, but another hour. We stopped in Galveston to get some groceries for the week and then got back on the road. He still feels like hammered dog meat but will NOT let me drive 30 miles later, we get to our house. He’s not doing good by now. The house is on stilts and there’s a lot of stairs. He asks me where the elevator is at. I go to look and nope, no elevator. So we have to carry all the groceries and our huge luggage up the ton of stairs. We get everything unloaded and he says he’s going to go to bed. He said he would sleep in the extra room so he wouldn’t disturb me if he had to keep getting up. I’m so loved He’s now forgiven for stealing my boob napkins We get up Tuesday and he says he feels a lot better. He thought it had to have been food poisoning. So we cook our meals and then take a dip in the pool and end in the hot tub. It was so nice and peaceful. Then we had an early supper. About 7:30pm, my stomach starts to hurt and so I go to bed. At 8:00pm, I rush to the bathroom so I can enjoy my own vomiting session. From 8 to 3am, I threw up 6 times. It was so violent and I thought I was going to die or was wishing. I can’t remember… it’s all blurry So Wednesday morning, he’s feeling great and me, not so much. I told him to go back to Houston and go to NASA’s Johnson Space Center. He had talked about it days before we went, so I knew he was excited to go. I told him I was just going to be in bed and to go have fun. So he left me and went on his merry way. Not sure how long he had been gone before I hear some guy yell “PEST CONTROL”. Thought I was hallucinating at first but then I heard him walking around. I had no energy to move and so I just closed my eyes and played dead. I was ready to be taken out if that’s what he was going to do. I hear him come in the bedroom and then I hear him shuffle back out and he leaves the house. I’m assuming he thought I WAS dead and didn’t want to be a witness to the crime He gets back and later that evening, we watch a movie. During the night on Tues night, there was a horrible wind storm as we were right on the coast. I kept hearing the ceiling fan kick off and on. With that being said, on Thursday, I wanted to get in the hot tub because my abs hurt so bad from the violent vomiting. I go to get in and it’s so cold. Then I remembered the wind storm. Of course, the hot tub was off. So I reset it and cranked that sucker to 107. It never heated back up to make it worth getting in. So hello Friday! We get up and get ready. We are still moving slow. We go do some sight seeing and a little shopping. We get back to the house and start packing up to fly home on Saturday. So there you have it! We should’ve just stayed home We did find out that someone that was sick came to our wedding. So, thanks for that lovely gift! Moral of the story….. never trust a fart cause it can cause a vacation